Stressed? Check out 9 tricks to getting your days simple.

Your days fill up so fast, and they are so rushed and packed with distractions – sometimes they literally seem to be bursting at the seams.

I know exactly how you feel.  This used to be my life too.

Before I started simplifying my life, I was being pulled in dozens of different directions every day and never had enough time to get everything done.  Naturally, I wanted to do a great job with each obligation I had, and somehow I had convinced myself that I could do it all.  But the reality was I was stretched way too thin, and thus I was doing a lousy job at everything and completely stressing myself out in the process.

This feeling of being mind-numbingly busy and overbooked is a huge source of stress for most people, and stress is perhaps the single most important determining factor of whether we’re healthy and happy, or sick and tired, in the long run.

Unless you want your health to decline and your stress to continue to skyrocket, you must start simplifying.

So how can you simplify your days?  It’s not as hard as you might imagine…

1.  Know what your perfect day looks and feels like.

Visualizing your perfect day is important not necessarily because it will be a recurring reality, but because it’s crucial to understand what a “simple day” really means to you.  It’s different for everyone – for me, it means practicing my morning gratitude meditation, quiet writing and reading time, and spending a few quality hours with my wife  and our son.  For others, it’s a long morning walk, afternoon yoga, a productive day at the office, and a hot bath before bed.  And for others, it’s simply lots of time to focus on an important life goal, while still leaving enough time to get a good night’s rest.

Take a few moments now to visualize what a “simple day” means to you.

2.  Determine what’s most important to you.

Besides the art of getting things done, there is the often-forgotten art of leaving things undone.  The simplicity and efficiency of a day relies heavily on the elimination of non-essentials.

The foundation of simplifying is this:

• Identify what’s most important to you.
• Eliminate as much as you possibly can of everything else.

So take time to identify the most important projects, people and experiences (5 at most), and then see what activities, tasks and commitments fit in with that list.

3.  Say “no” to unnecessary commitments that do not support your priorities.

Once you’ve identified what’s important – your priorities, along with your vision of the “perfect day” – you need to start saying “no” to things that do not support what’s important to you, and that are getting in the way of your perfect day.

The best thing you can say “no” to is an unimportant commitment.  Think about it…

Today you say yes to a Facebook party invitation, tomorrow you say yes when a neighbor asks you to help him move some furniture, then you get asked to a quick lunch meeting, then you decide to volunteer at your son’s youth group.  One yes at a time, and soon your days are too busy and complicated and you don’t know where you went wrong.

List and evaluate your commitments (professional, personal, civic, etc.), especially the recurring ones, and say no to at least one of them today.  It just takes a quick call or a short email, and you’ll instantly feel a weight lifted.

4.  Limit your daily tasks.

Take time every morning to identify 1-3 Most Important Tasks (MITs) for the day, and cut out the rest as much as possible (not counting little, necessary things, like tying your shoes or dropping the kids off at school).  Address your other obligations right then and there, and tell the associated people that you really want to help, but your plate is full today.  You can’t serve them well, so regretfully you must say “no.”

Once you’re down to a manageable list of tasks (1-3 is ideal, but certainly don’t try to do more than 7), it’s best to give each some allotted time – a few hours for one, and then a few hours for another, etc.  Instead of being in a stressful task-switching state of mind, just take your next task, let everything else go, and just be in the moment with this one task for the allotted time.

Do this, and you will notice a difference.  Limiting your tasks like this helps you focus and embrace the reality that you’re not going to get everything done in one day.

5.  Schedule at least one distraction-free time block each day.

Once you know you’re actually working on the right tasks, eliminating all distractions for a set time while you work is one of the most effective ways to get things done.  So, lock your door, put a sign up, turn off your phone, close your email application, disconnect your internet connection, etc.  You can’t remain in hiding forever, but you can be twice as productive while you are.

Do whatever it takes to create a quiet, distraction-free environment where you can focus on what’s important.

6.  Do ONLY one thing at a time.

Again, let yourself be immersed in the task at hand by letting go of the feeling that you need to quickly rush through it – that you need to move on to the next task waiting for you.  There will always be a next task, because that’s the nature of TO-DO lists – they’re never-ending.  So let those later tasks come later.  Just be 100% in this one task, like it’s your entire world.

Bottom line: Slow down.  Breathe.  Review your commitments and goals.  Put first things first.  Do one task at a time.  Start now.  Take a 5-minute break in an hour.  Repeat.  (And remember, results are more important than the time it takes to achieve them.)

7.  Batch the smaller, less important tasks.

There are a lot of little tasks you need to do throughout the day.  Don’t let them disrupt the more important stuff.  To be more productive, batch them up and do them all at once, preferably later in the day.  For example, instead of checking your personal email throughout the day, handle all of it once a day, perhaps at 4pm as the day is winding down.  Do all your miscellaneous paperwork at once (bills, forms, etc.).  And once you’ve completed a batch of small tasks (like processing all your email), cut yourself off and move on to the next small thing if necessary.

The key is to make sure you don’t let the small things get in the way of the big ones.  Do NOT get stuck on one small thing all day, or even half a day.

8.  Leave space between everything.

I may sound like a broken record at this point, but it’s crucial to understand that overcommitting is the biggest mistake most people make against living a simpler life.  It’s tempting to fill in every waking minute of the day with tasks.  Don’t do this to yourself.  Leave space.

The space between the things we do is just as important as the things we do.  So leave a little space between your tasks.  Take a break to stretch, take a short walk outside, drink a glass of water, perhaps do some simple deep breathing exercises.  Enjoy the space, and breathe.

Your overarching goal is living a life uncluttered by most of the things people fill their lives with, leaving you with space for what truly matters.  A life that isn’t constant busyness, rushing and stress, but instead mindful contemplation, creation and connection with people and projects you love.  

9.  Practice gratitude.

A simpler, more positive mindset can be created anytime and anyplace with a change in thinking.  That’s right, frustration and stress come from the way you react, not the way things are.  Adjust your attitude, and the frustration and stress evaporates.  The simplest secret to doing this is letting every circumstance be what it is in the moment, instead of what you think it should be, and then making the best of it.

It’s about being grateful for what is, and then working WITH it, not against it.

This kind of humble gratitude always makes life easier to deal with.  Because happiness comes easier when you stop complaining about your problems and you start being grateful for all the problems you don’t have.

The floor is yours…

If you’re up to it, I’d love to reflect on #1 for a moment with you:

What does your perfect day look and feel like?

Credit:MarcandAngel

Is What You’re Doing the Best Use of Your Life? “Be very careful how you live. Do not live like those who are not wise. Live wisely. I mean that you should use every chance you have for doing good, because these are evil times. So do not be foolish with your lives. But learn what the Lord wants you to do.” (Ephesians 5:15-17 ICB) If you want to make an impact with your life, you’ve got to do one thing: You’ve got to get control of your time. Your time is your life. If you don’t learn to manage your time, you won’t go very far in life. Ephesians 5:15-17 says, “Be very careful how you live. Do not live like those who are not wise. Live wisely. I mean that you should use every chance you have for doing good, because these are evil times. So do not be foolish with your lives. But learn what the Lord wants you to do” (ICB). We all have the same amount of time every week: 168 hours. It’s what you do with it that counts! You only have a certain number of days you’ve been allotted in this world, and if you blow them, you’ve blown it! If you waste time, you’re wasting your life. If you kill time, you’re committing suicide. Your time is your life. You have to stop and ask, “Is this the best use of my time? Is this the best use of my life?” You don’t have time for everything. The good news is that God doesn’t expect you to do everything. So don’t feel guilty about it! There are only a few things worth doing in the first place. Effective people figure out what’s essential in life and what’s trivial, and they spend more time doing the essential things and less time doing the trivial things. You can’t eliminate all the trivia in your life, but you can reduce it. This sounds easy, but frankly it’s often difficult to choose between what’s best for your life and what’s easiest for your life — especially when you’re tired. When you’re tired you don’t want to do the best thing. You want to do what’s easy. That’s why if you’re really going to make something of your life, you have to learn to get some rest. If you’re not rested, you won’t have the mental, emotional, and physical strength to say, “I’m going to do the right thing instead of the easiest thing.” Don’t waste your life. Don’t settle for second best. Don’t go through life just existing. You were not created to just coast. God made you for a mission and a purpose. That starts by asking the question, “Is what I’m doing the best use of my life?” Talk It Over What are the things that take up most of your time? How are those things helping you fulfill your mission in life? What do you need to change in your schedule and priorities so that you can get more rest? Ask God for help. Credit:Daily Hope

Fear?

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10 NIV) What keeps you from developing your full potential? Fear. What keeps you from becoming all God wants you to be? Fear. What keeps you from building a legacy that will last into eternity? Fear. There are three kinds of fear that will keep you from developing your talents and accomplishing your purpose. Self-doubt. It keeps people locked in a prison and unable to develop their potential. This is actually the fear of failure. But failure is not fatal! In fact, the fear of failure is far worse than failure itself. Failure is actually a good thing. Failure is how you learn what doesn’t work. And it’s how you grow into a better parent, partner, and professional. Don’t let self-doubt keep you down. I’d rather attempt to do something great and fail than attempt to do nothing and succeed. Self-consciousness. If you worry about what other people think, nothing will ever get done in your life. You just have to do what God tells you to do. That’s all you’re accountable for. You’re not called to be the best in the world. You’re called to be the best that God made you to be. Self-pity. There were two disciples that had spectacular failures. Peter and Judas both denied Jesus in clutch time, but they responded to their failure in very different ways. Judas went out and had a pity party and hung himself. Peter, on the other hand, wept bitterly, grieved about it, repented, asked God to forgive him, picked himself up, and went back to serving God. And 40 days later, Peter spoke to the whole city of Jerusalem on Pentecost, and 3,000 people became believers and the Church was born. Of all the people God could have used to start the church, he used the guy with the biggest failure. That means there’s room for you in the family of God! Instead of living in fear, believe what God says about you in Ephesians 2:10: “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (NIV). Talk It Over In what part of your life are you concerned about other people’s opinion of you? How has your self-doubt kept you from reaching your potential? Why are we so afraid of failure? What failure in your life has kept you from reaching your potential? What purpose do you think God intended for that failure? Think on it today. Credit:Daily Hope

God Takes the Little and Does Big Things

“Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?” (John 6:9, NIV)

In John 6 we read about the feeding of the 5000 by Jesus. We learn a tremendous KingdomNomics principle from the small lad in the story who had two small fish and five barley loaves of bread. In verse 9 the disciple Andrew questions how so little could be relevant in feeding a multitude of people.

Jesus took what was little or insignificant in the view of the world, and miraculously used it to feed the 5000!

What does this say to us? God can take our time, talent, and treasure, even though we think they are small and insignificant, and exponentially multiply them for the advancement of his kingdom in this world. We all want to be “two fish and five loaves people” willing to share so Jesus can do great things through us as we make ourselves available to him. 

This lad’s life echoes through eternity because he was willing to share what he had as he yielded himself to the purposes of God. 

Today, ask yourself: 

Am I willing to share what I have for the advancement of the kingdom, regardless of the amount? 

God can take what we think is inconsequential and use it to do great things. Think about what God can possibly do through you!  When he works through you, you are creating an echo into eternity through your life.

Credit:KingdomNomics

Eternal Investments

Plan and purpose are concepts that flow beautifully through the entire Bible. There is nothing random or spontaneous about our God and his works. He is purposeful in all things.

God’s kingdom is increased by men and women who tap into the purpose that God has for them. They understand that their story is part of a much bigger story, his story, and this great insight becomes their guiding light.

Perhaps the greatest verse in the Bible on the subject of God’s will is this one: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).

Consider what that one verse means for your life:

1. God has a plan perfectly formulated with your name on it.
2. It’s a good plan. He didn’t create you to be miserable, but to be fruitful.
3. God has reserved for you a future filled with hope.

Further, we can venture certain conclusions from this plan:

1. God’s plan was written long before you were born. (Jeremiah 1:5)
2. God’s plan for you is bound up with his plans for others. (Romans 8:28)
3. God’s plan is built upon your gifts and talents. (Ephesians 2:10)
4. God’s eternal purpose brings together your plan with those of others. (Proverbs 16:9)
5. God will guide you as you attempt to follow his will. (Proverbs 16:3)

John Wesley, founder of the Methodist Church, had a favorite sermon he loved to preach over the years. Its basic message was:

• Gain all you can.
• Save all you can.
• Give all you can.

Wesley began a frugal life style as a young man. As he grew older, his income began to increase quickly as his fame grew, but he maintained humble standards of living so that he could give more away. Even so, he realized that many of his followers who were devoted to business would have opportunities to make much more money. He wanted them to realize that, as long as they did it honestly, Jesus would approve their business acumen.

Therefore I try to stay as close to the Lord as I can, immersing myself in his Word and the flow of the Holy Spirit every day. I focus on his purposes, and ask him what he wants me to do. In the course of the day, I continue to pray about opportunities to serve him in some way.

Meanwhile, I continue to be a good businessman, just as I always was. I try to gain all I can and save all I can, so that I can give all I can. I know in doing so that I’m walking the straight path that he set out for me. It’s amazing just how many questions and puzzles and problems drain away from everyday existence when we know exactly what we’re setting out to accomplish. I want consistently to do whatever honors God and pleases him.

Culled:KingdomNomics

Busy Doing What?

“There he went into a cave and spent the night. And the word of the Lord came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?””(1 Kings 19:9  NIV) 

Have you ever been in a place and asked yourself, “What am I doing here?”  

For the KingdomNomic thinker, this is a very important question. As I make choices daily, this question is in the back of my mind. I need to evaluate what kind of a “giver” I will be during the time I have left in this world.

The ways in which I decide to spend the time God has given me will determine how much of my activity will echo into eternity. The spending of my treasure, however great or small, will determine if I have anything stored in the “First National Bank of Heaven.” 

By soaking our heart in the Word of God and feeding our soul with the spiritual M and Ms we find in the Word, we will discover what is important to God. He will reveal His will, plan, and purpose for our life as we focus on him and his values. His desires will become our desires as we surrender our self-life to his life, allowing him to do his work in and through us.

As we practice these  principles, we become more productive in our knowledge of Jesus Christ.

Today, ask yourself:

Are my everyday choices reflecting clarity to the question, “What am I doing here?”

CREDIT:KINGDOMNOMICS

10 Tips to Resolve Conflict in a Healthy Way Where life involves people—whether among family, friends or co-workers—there will be potential for conflict. Any disagreement there? Want to fight about it?  In fact, if relation ships are normal, conflict is inevitable. But conflict doesn’t have to destroy relationships. It can actually be used to make relationships better. That takes intentionality, practice—and a whole lot of grace. In an organizational sense, conflict is certainly a huge part of a leader’s life. Even in a pastor’s life. It seems to reason that learning to deal with conflict successfully should be one of our goal as leaders. Here are 10 suggestions to effectively handle conflict: Understand the battle: Make sure you understand the real source of the conflict. Many times we address symptoms, but we really aren’t even addressing with the real issue. That wastes time, frustrates people, and makes the conflict linger longer. It’s usually a heart issue that is controlling everything being said (Proverbs 4:23). Discovering that is key. Make sure you ask lots of questions and attempt to clarify the root issue of the conflict. (This is where third party help is often needed.) Find the right time and place: When emotions are high is not good timing for dealing with conflict. Personal conflict should not be handled in public. Don’t be afraid to schedule a time to address the conflict. Examine yourself first: Sometimes the issue is personal to you, and you are only blaming others for your problem. That’s not fair, nor does it provide a healthy resolution to conflict. Look carefully at the “plank” in your own eye (Matthew 7:3–5). Consider the other side of the conflict: Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and consider their viewpoint (Philippians 2:4). Why would they think the way they think? Is it a difference in personal values or a misunderstanding? What if I were in their situation—how would I respond? Do not overreact to the issue or overload on emotion: Stick to the issue at hand. When emotions are exaggerated it disarms the other party and a healthy resolution is harder to attain. Control yourself from extremity or absolutes. Avoid phrases like “You always…” (Proverbs 25:28). Do not dance around or sugarcoat the issue or disguise it in false kindness: Sometimes we fail to address the conflict because we are afraid of how the other person may respond or we are afraid of hurting feelings. The avoidance usually will cause more conflict eventually. Be kind, but make sure you are clear, direct, and helpful (Proverbs 27:5). Do not allow the small disagreements to become big disagreements: The way to keep most huge conflict (the kind that destroys relationships) from occurring is by confronting the small conflict along the way. Minor conflict is always easier to handle than major conflict. Be firm, but gentle: Learn the balance between the two. It’s critical in dealing with conflict. (Consider Jesus’ approach in John 4.) Work towards a solution: Never waste conflict. Use it to make the organization and/or the relationship better. Everyone wants a win-win situation, and sometimes that’s possible. Getting to the right decision should always be the ultimate goal (Proverbs 21:3). Grant forgiveness easily: Healthy conflict makes relationships stronger, but to get there we must not hold a grudge or seek revenge. That never moves conflict forward towards resolution. Learn the art of grace and forgiveness. It’s a keeper of healthy relationships (Ephesians 4:32). Conflict is a part of relationships. All relationships. As leaders, we shouldn’t shy away from conflict. We should learn it’s value and how to navigate conflict for the overall good of the team. What would you add? Credit:Ron Edmonson

Apply God's Word to your life with this resource featuring Bible study topics relevant for

Don't Let Gossip Destroy Your Relationship "A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret"(Prov 11:13 NIV) We tend to think of gossip as one of those “little” sins. But when God talks about gossip, he puts it on the list with things like sexual immorality and murder. Why? Because it is so destructive to relationships. Gossip can tear apart friendships, families, and churches. Gossip is talking about a situation with somebody who is neither a part of the solution nor a part of the problem. If we’re honest with ourselves, what we’re doing is making ourselves feel a little more important at somebody else’s expense. We’re talking about their hurts and their problems to make us feel like we’re morally superior to them. That’s the danger and the hurt of gossip. There’s a story in the Old Testament about a family that struggled with gossip. Moses had a sister name Miriam who one day got caught up in gossiping about Moses among the rest of the people. God called Moses and Miriam in and had a little talk. He spoke with Miriam and told her what she’d done wrong and right there on the spot gave her leprosy. You may be thinking, “That sounds terrible, but I’d like that to happen to the person who gossiped about me. Maybe not leprosy—but a really bad stomach flu, so that person knows how much this hurt.” Do you know what God did next? He invited Moses to pray for Miriam’s healing—the person who gossiped against him. Some of you have been deeply hurt by gossip and things that have been said around the office or a broken confidence between a friend or family member. Here’s what God has to say to you: “Pray for the person who gossiped against you so that you can be released from the hurt in your life.” Or maybe you’ve been the one gossiping. This story is in the Old Testament to remind us how serious gossip is and how hurtful it can be to people, whatever side of it you’re on. When you keep confidences, it enables you to connect to others in productive, healthy, and genuine ways. Proverbs 11:13 says, “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret” (NIV). Are you the kind of person that can keep people’s confidences so they can trust you? Talk It Over How do you think God wants you to pray specifically for the person who gossiped about you? What do you normally do when people around you start to gossip? What do you think God wants you to do? Why does being a trustworthy person help deepen your relationships? Credit:Daily Hope With Rick Warren

Some Truths You Should Know About Yourself

This one’s for YOU.
 
I want you to know that life is not easy.  Every day is an unpredictable challenge.  Some days it can be difficult to simply get out of bed in the morning.  To face reality and put on that smile.  But I want you to know, your smile has kept me going on more days than I can count.  Never forget that, even through the toughest times, you are incredible.  You really are.
 
So smile more often.  You have so many reasons to.  Time and again, my reason is you.
 
You won’t always be perfect.  Neither will I.  Because nobody is perfect, and nobody deserves to be perfect.  Nobody has it easy, everybody has issues.  You will never know exactly what I’m going through.  And I will never know exactly what you’re going through.  We are all fighting our own unique war.
 
But we are fighting through it simultaneously, together.
 
Whenever somebody discredits you, and tells you that you can’t do something, keep in mind that they are speaking from within the boundaries of their own limitations. Ignore them.  Don’t give in.  In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, find the courage to keep being your awesome self.  And when they laugh at you for being different, laugh back at them for being the same.
 
Remember, our courage doesn’t always roar aloud.  Sometimes it’s the quiet voice at the end of the day whispering, “I will try again tomorrow.”  So stand strong.  Things turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out.
 
And I am committed to making the best of it along with you.

Culled:Marc And Angel 

Give Cheerfully

Dear VAC Bloggers,

There is something about giving that I have learnt overtime,It attracts more blessings to you.

Kindly read and re-read this wonderful write-up,and see what comes out of it for you,your family and your entire home,you will be greatly blessed.  Please drop your comments,it will be well appreciated.

“Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” (2 Corinthians 9:7)

When giving is done with the right attitude, it can be a gateway for God to move in significant ways in our lives.  It is important to remember that it is not the amount that we give that matters so much as it is the attitude that characterizes our giving.  God loves it when we give out of a cheerful and grateful heart, a heart that does not give grudgingly or under compulsion. Each person is to give as he purposes in his own heart.

What happens when God loves something that we do? Love is an action word and God’s love is demonstrated through action.  I have found that he often moves, and when he moves, he can move in a big way.  We have seen God’s activity as he intervenes in the affairs of men.  He is interested in the details of our lives, and he frequently gets involved in them.  This is proven by all of the promises he has made in his Word for the believer.  He will visit us.  Jesus will fellowship with us.  The Holy Spirit will impart life to our mortal bodies.

When we give of our treasure, it shows there is a conversion of our wallet and bank account from the temporal to the eternal.  It helps to break the force of greed in our lives, enabling God to have access to what is so important to so many of us.  When we give of our time or our talent, we demonstrate our dependence on God to use our abilities to further advance his kingdom.  We are turned outward, rather than inward:  “What can I do for others?” rather than “What can I do for myself?”

God is giving us the opportunity to partner with him in meeting the spiritual and physical needs of people in this world!  He has promised to reward us, even though we are simply giving back a portion of what he already owns.  We are the stewards of his provisions.     

Heart Deposit:

Have you made the great discovery of the blessing of giving?  What opportunities has God placed in front of you for giving?  What blessing has come to you as you have responded to God’s direction?

Related Verses:

“Give generously to them and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the LORD your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to.”  Deuteronomy 15:10

“Give generously to them and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the LORD your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to.”  1 Chronicles 29:9

Credit:KingdomNomics

Negative Thoughts!This Could Help(2)

Hello There!

I shared a part of the article "Negative Thoughts!This Could Help" yesterday  and I am going to share the last part today.

Please read and digest .It will help in your everyday activity and life generally.Drop your comments.

2.   Stop over-generalizing the negative.

Ask yourself: “If something negative unexpectedly happens, do I over-generalize it?  Do I view it as applying to everything and being permanent rather than compartmentalizing it to one place and time?”

For example, if someone turns you down for a date, do you spread the negativity beyond that person, time, and place by telling yourself: “Relationships never work out for me, ever”?  If you fail an exam do you say to yourself, “Well, I failed that exam; I’m not happy about it, but I’ll study harder next time”?  Or do you over-generalize it by telling yourself you’re “not smart enough” or “incapable of learning”?

And this leads in perfectly to the next point…

3.   Stop minimizing the positive.

Negative thinking stops us from seeing and experiencing positive outcomes, even when they happen often.  It’s as if there’s a special mental screen filtering out all the positives and only letting in data that confirms the ‘negative bias.’  Magnifying setbacks and minimizing successes leads to de-motivation and misery in the long run.  Know this.

Get into the habit of seeing setbacks as temporary and specific learning experiences rather than as permanent and pervasive misfortunes.  We all tend to find what we look for in life.  If you find yourself thinking negatively about a person, for instance, get into the habit of balancing it out with one positive thought about them: “She’s so selfish… Mind you, to be fair, she was helpful when my car broke down last year… and she does have a good sense of humor…”  The positive is always there somewhere, but you have to search for it.  

4.  Stop looking for negative signs from others.

Too often we jump to conclusions, only to cause ourselves and others unnecessary frustration, hurt and anger.  If someone says one thing, don’t assume they mean something else.  If they say nothing at all, don’t assume their silence has some hidden, negative connotation.

Thinking negatively will inevitably lead you to interpret everything another person does as being negative, especially when you are uncertain about what the other person is thinking.  For instance, “He hasn’t called, so he must not want to talk to me,” or, “She only said that to be nice, but she doesn’t really mean it.”

Assigning meaning to a situation before you have the whole story makes you more likely to believe that the uncertainty you feel (based on lack of knowing) is a negative sign.  On the flip side, holding off on assigning meaning to an incomplete story is essential to overcoming negative thinking.  When you think more positively, or simply more clearly about the facts, you’ll be able to evaluate all possible reasons you can think of, not just the negative ones.  In other words, you’ll be doing more of:  “I don’t know why he hasn’t called, but maybe…”

• “…he’s extremely busy at work.”
• “…his phone has a poor signal in the office building.”
• “…he’s simply waiting for me to call him.”
• etc.

You get the get the idea.  None of these circumstances are negative and all are as plausible as any other possible explanation.

Next time you feel uncertain and insecure, and you catch yourself stressing about a problem that doesn’t exist, stop yourself and take a deep breath.  Then tell yourself, “This problem I’m concerned with only exists in my mind.”  Being able to distinguish between what you imagine and what is actually happening in your life is an important step towards living a positive life.

5.  Stop making unreasonable rules and expectations.

You must deal with the world the way it is, not the way you expect it to be.  Life is under no obligation to give you exactly what you expect.  In fact, whatever it is you’re seeking will rarely ever come in the form you’re expecting, but that doesn’t make it any less wonderful.

Stop forcing your own misconstrued expectations and rules on life…

• “He was late, so he must not care about me.” – Or perhaps he just got caught in traffic.
• “If I can’t do this correctly, then I must not be smart enough.” – Or perhaps you just need more practice.
• “I haven’t heard back from my doctor, so the test results must be bad.” – Or perhaps the lab is just really busy and your results aren’t available yet.
• etc.

Inventing rules like these about how life must be, based on your own stubborn expectations, is a great way to keep your mind stuck in the gutter.  This isn’t to say that you should never expect anything at all from yourself and others (diligence, honesty, determination, etc.), but rather that the rules that govern your expectations should not steer you toward unreasonably negative conclusions.

If you feel dissatisfied or let down by an outcome, then you must have been expecting something different.  Rather than get upset, ask yourself, “Were my expectations too narrow?” and “What new truths have I learned?”

The bottom line is that you must see and accept things as they are instead of as you hoped, wished, or expected them to be.  Just because it didn’t turn out like you had envisioned, doesn’t mean it isn’t exactly what you need to get to where you ultimately want to go.

Afterthoughts!

There’s a quote I’ve always loved that’s often credited to Ignatius: “Pray as if God will take care of all; act as if all is up to you.”

That’s a strong way to live.  It’s about using your faith to fuel positive thinking and positive action, every single day.

This is what I wish for myself.  And this is what I wish for you.

Let’s choose positivity today.  Together. 

Your turn…

Which point above resonates with you the most?  What else helps you stay positive and motivated in the face of this negativity?  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.

Credit:Marc And Angel

SOME BENEFITS OF FAILING

Dear VAC Readers,

Failure is something we can't dodge.It is unavoidable,it comes in our everyday activity.We are scared of failing,yes, but  to what advantage could this failure be to we humans.

Kindly give your comments and suggestions,if this helped you.Happy Reading!

You could call me a successful person. I’m a hard worker, I get good grades, and I don’t fail tests. Actually, I don’t really fail much.

So while failing your first driving test may not seem like a big deal to you, to me it was crushing. It was a week before my seventeenth birthday, over six months ago. Though I was nervous, I was desperately confident. When I backed into that spot at the DMV, clicked on the parking brake, and turned to my instructor with bright eyes and an expectant smile, I was ready for success. I was ready to hear that glowingly affirmative, “That was amazing! You passed.”

But I didn’t hear that. Instead I heard, “I can’t pass you today.” And I heard, Failure. It hit me in that instant, bitter and cold and unexpected. My stomach dropped and tears hid behind a plastered smile. I stepped back inside and told Mom. She could read it in my eyes before I said anything. I failed.

Since that test, I’ve learned a lot about failure. Both my parents and I refused to let that failure be wasted. Despite its frustration, it was a learning opportunity. Now as I look back, there was a lot I learned from failure. Here are a few things:

Failure is only failure if you don’t learn from it. It sounds trite and stale and cliche enough for a Pinterest quote board, but it’s true. Everything God gives us is because He knows that it is best for us. Everything is for our good (Rom 8:28). And He expects us to give Him the glory and to become more sanctified through our experiences. Failure is a growing experience. Failure is a sanctifying experience. It should make us better Christians.

Failure exposes pride. Jon Bloom said that pride is the pathological core of all of our sin. And nothing reveals the crippling pride in my heart like failure. Why was I so disappointed that I failed my driving test? It’s just a driving test. The answer is tangled up within my own pride. I wanted to pass for my own glory and good. Coming away from that failure, I felt my sin exposed nakedly before me. I am proud. This truth was stapled to my failure. If I had passed, I would never have realized the depths of my sin. Failure, meanwhile, was used by the Holy Spirit to expose my sin blackly before me and convict me and lead me to repentance.

Failure makes me a more realistic person. Being someone who’s rather alien to the concept of failure, the “real world” is going to seem pretty bleak if I don’t at least have some experience with failure. Success will not be guaranteed solely by hard work. More failure is going to come – worse failure than road tests. And if I don’t know how to deal with it, it will destroy me.

Failure makes me work harder. My road test instructor gave me a checklist of reasons why I failed. I memorized that list and I learned from it. I worked harder. I pushed for success. Just because I know failure might come, it doesn’t mean that I ever stop doing my best and trying my hardest. And failure just means I have to work harder than before.

Failure is not the end of the world as I know it. So I’ve been known to be a bit of a dramatic soul. I feel things very deeply and sometimes respond to disappointment irrationally. I felt devastated after my failure. It took some tough love from my parents to get me to look at things more objectively. Because no matter how I feel, failure is not the end of my world. Failure is only a negative experience if you let it be. If you let feelings dictate what you think, you’ll find your failure wasted.

Failure makes success sweeter. And the happy ending to my failure story is that one month after that failure, success came; I passed my road test. There is no way that I could have possibly felt that good about passing if I had not failed my first test. Failure makes victory so much richer and more meaningful. I can look back on my first failure and smile. Sure, it stung, but its sting just reminds me that I had to learn from it and refuse to waste it.

Nobody wants failure. I don’t. But regardless of what we’d like, it’s going to come and we’re going to have to deal with it. We can waste it. We can sin because of it. We can let it destroy us. Or we can use it for our good and the glory of God. We can learn from it. We can become better people because of it. We can let it teach us.

Culled from BraveMag