Eight Ways To Beat Temptation

We all face temptations of many kinds. God wants us to beat them. We don’t have to sin, as powerful as temptations feel. Here are 8 ways to gain the victory.

1.  Pray before you are tempted

Jesus instructed his disciples to ask God, “Lead us not into temptation and deliver us from evil.” And as he told us to pray, “Give us THIS DAY” our daily bread,” it’s good to ask God to deliver us from temptation and evil THIS DAY.

2. Flee. A good run is better than a bad fall.

Stay as far away sin as you can. Don’t think you won’t fall. If you hired someone to transport your most valuable possessions, you wouldn’t tell them to see how close to the edge of a cliff they could drive. In Proverbs 7 a “young man lacking sense” wanders near the house of an woman at twilight, and just “happens” to run into her. She’s dressed sensually. She says her husband’s gone and describes her perfumed bed. Eventually he follows her like an ox going to slaughter. Eve got into trouble by engaging with Satan and looking at how delicious the fruit looked. Flee temptation. Stay out of the car in the park in the dark.

3. Quote Scripture

That’s how Jesus overcame the tempter. When you feel like grumbling remind yourself to “rejoice always.” When tempted to give a harsh reply, think, “A gentle answer turns away wrath.” When rankling against correction remind yourself, “God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Of course, to quote Scripture when tempted means we must know it first, which means we must regularly take it in.

4. Pray in the midst of temptation.

Draw near to the throne of grace for help in time of need. Your sympathetic high priest, who was tempted as you are yet without sin, will help you (Heb 4).

5. Get a brother or sister to pray with you.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 says “though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

6. Ask someone to hold you accountable.

A friend once said to me, “Mark, when I get back from my business trip this week, can you ask me if I watched TV in the hotel room? When I’m alone on trips I can be tempted to watch bad stuff. Knowing you are going to ask me will help me fight temptation.”

7. Remember God’s faithfulness.

“God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it” (1 COR 10:13). God will never let us be tempted beyond the strength he gives, and if we ask he’ll “provide the way of escape” to get us through it.

8. Remind yourself that sin has consequences.

Remember Galatians 6:7: “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.”

When David committed adultery with Bathsheba and arranged for her husband’s death, God forgave him, but told him the sword would never depart from his house, that his own family members would do him great harm and the child he conceived with Bathsheba would die. (2 Sam 12:10–14).

So here’s a quick summary:

KEEP FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT!

God Bless You.

Credit:Mark Altrogge

What Will You Do with What You Have Been Given?

“Each of us, as a good manager of God’s different gifts, must use for the good of others the special gift he has received from God.” (1 Peter 4:10 TEV)


Do you know what God created you for?

Do you know what your destiny is?

In order to fulfill your destiny, you must recognize the gifts God has given you to use. These are the cards you are dealt in life. They include the things you can’t control: your parents, your nationality, your race, your native language. They also include your SHAPE: your Spiritual gifts, Heart, Abilities, Personality, and Experiences. These are the things that make you uniquely you.

Now, you are not responsible for the gifts God didn’t give you. In other words, if you are not artistically gifted, you are not expected to paint pictures like Rembrandt.

 But you are responsible for the ones he did give you.

When you get to Heaven, God isn’t going to compare you with anyone else, but he will compare you with yourself. What did you do with what you were given? What could you have done if you had trusted God a little bit more?
Romans 14:12 says, “Each of us will give an account of ourselves to God” (NIV).

Esther had three assets that God gave her to use to fulfill her destiny. She was intelligent, beautiful, and she had an attractive personality. Because of these qualities, “Esther won the favor of everyone who saw her …. She won [the king’s] favor and approval more than any of the other virgins. So he set a royal crown on her head and made her queen” (Esther 2:15b, 17).

God gave Esther these gifts for a purpose.


God has given you gifts for a purpose. And just like Esther, you have a responsibility to be a good steward of those gifts — not for selfish uses but for the good of others. Your gifts are not for your benefit. God gave you gifts for the benefit of other people.

Talk It Over

In order to know your destiny, you have to know your talents and decide how to use them. Make a list of the gifts God has given you (don’t forget to include your SHAPE and the things you can’t control).

Ask yourself, “What has God given me for good to use for good?”

How can you help others discover their SHAPE and purpose?

What are some practical ways you can get out of the rut of comparing yourself to others?

       

 Credit:Pastor Rick Warren

How Can I Know God's Voice?

How can you tell God is speaking to you?

How do you know it’s His voice and not the Enemies?

1.     Is it Biblical?

I have often heard people say that God “spoke to them” but it was contrary to what the Scriptures say.  God will never, ever speak to us by His Spirit and ask us to do something that is contrary to biblical doctrine.  For example, A man I was counseling once told me that God spoke to him that he is to divorce his wife.  I asked him if his wife was committing adultery.  He said no.   I told him that God hates divorce and except for adultery, there should be no divorce because he didn’t have biblical grounds for it.  Why would God “speak” to him and tell him that He wanted him to divorce his wife when the Bible clearly teaches that this would be sin?  If you feel that God speaks to you, and I don’t mean in an audible voice you can hear, and you believe that He is telling you to do something that the Bible is against, don’t believe it!  That’s a lie.  It’s likely the Enemy or from your own selfish desires.


2.      Does It Glorify God?

We know that it is always God’s will that His name be glorified.  If you believe God is telling you to do something and it will result in His being glorified, it could well be that God is speaking to you.  A good example is found in Psalm 145:11-12 where it says “They shall speak of the glory of Your kingdom and talk of Your power, to make known to the sons of men God’s mighty deeds and the glorious majesty of His kingdom.”  If you are endeavoring to do something for God’s glory, then it is very like God trying to speak to you.


3.       He Speaks Through His Word

One of the most overlooked things that believers do is to be seeking the will of God and wanting Him to speak to them but what they don’t realize is that God has already spoken to them and it is in His Word, the Bible.  God’s Word is alive, active, living, and penetrates the stony, human heart and makes the simple wise.  Why do we seek to hear God in a quiet, still voice when he boldly and plainly speaks to us in His Word.  If you’re not reading the Bible regularly, then don’t expect God to speak to you in a voice because you are not even hearing Him speak to you in the Scriptures.


4.       Seek Godly Counsel To Confirm

Sometimes, you need another set of ears from a close and trusted Christian friend, counselor or pastor to see if what you believe God is speaking to you is the Enemy or is God Himself.  The Bible says “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety” (Prov 11:14).  The Christian life is not intended to be a solo act but one in which we are connected to other believers and be in community and fellowship so that we can gain wisdom through their experience.  If you really want to know if it’s God’s voice or not, bounce it off of a couple of Christians and see what they think.  It surely can’t hurt.

May God richly bless you,

Credit:Pastor Jack Wellman

Some Basic Laws Of Happiness I find Motivating

Happiness is something diverse. Here are some of the known Laws of Happiness I gathered. You can add yours too.

Some people appear to be happy on the outside, but they struggle anxiously behind closed doors and don’t give the matter much thought as to why.

Others make big plans based on what they’ve been told “should” make them happy: “I’m going to marry a good man, we’re going to buy a house, and we’re going to have three children and a house in the suburbs.”

As long as they’re busy doing whatever it is that distracts them from the truth – their truth – they’re like a boulder tumbling down a mountainside: they bounce and react impulsively to the surrounding environment, and they blunder onward with no thought as to where they’re headed.  They get their house, sometimes a really big one, and they think that’s the meaning of life.  And they never question it until they feel empty inside, often decades later.  Yet their eyes continue to betray the sadness that they refuse to speak of, and perhaps don’t even know they carry.

So…  Are you happy?

Knowing the answer to this question is important.  Living every day in such a manner that makes happiness possible is life changing.  Here are some of the basic laws of happiness that make life-long happiness a gradual reality:

1.  Integrity is the foundation of a happy, meaningful life.

A lot of the everyday conflict that arises in our lives exists simply because we’re not living in sincere alignment with our core values – we’re not being true to ourselves.
Wherever your heart is – wherever your truth is – that’s where you will find your reason to smile.

2.  Happiness depends on being free, and freedom depends on being brave.

You have to be willing to take a chance on what makes you happy.
The only way to find true happiness is to be vulnerable sometimes and risk the possibility of being completely cut open.

3.  Happiness is wholeness, and every step and experience is what makes you whole.

Without each life experience, you are a blank page, an empty journal, an unsung lyric.
What makes you ALIVE is your will to live through today’s challenges and then hold your head up high tomorrow with hope and determination.

4.  A happy life story does not mean an easy life story.

The best thing that you can do is to follow your heart.  Take risks.  Don’t just make the safe and easy choices because you’re afraid of what might happen – if you do, nothing will ever happen.
You must work hard to make your life as beautiful as the dreams that dance through your imagination, while at the same time respecting each step along the way.

5.  Happiness lives in all the small things.

Subtract the obvious so you can see the meaningful.
Rediscover the sensitivity of your childhood eyes.  The eyes that saw life as it is – a beautiful compilation of tiny lives, each lived one at a time like snapshots in a family photo album.  That saw beauty in flowers and rainbows and wild animals.  That marveled at fireflies and sunsets and starry nights.  That let you dream every instant with your eyes wide open.

6.  Happiness is not some possession to be prized – it is a quality of thought, a positive state of mind in pursuit of meaning.

The ability to find beauty in the humblest things makes a home happy, a relationship lasting, and a life lovely.
One must find the mindfulness to truly appreciate the small things while chasing after the big ones.

7.  The secret of everyday happiness is not in always doing what one likes, but in mindfully liking what one does.

Be present with each step, do your very best, and let go of the rest.
There is always, always, always some reason to be grateful and something interesting to learn along the way.

10 Steps To Avoid Looking Back In The Christian Journey

  Now the just shall live by faith:but if any man draw back,my soul shall have no pleasure in him.  Hebrew 10:38

The Christian life is not always an easy road. Sometimes we get off track. The Bible says to encourage your brothers and sisters in Christ daily so that no one turns away from the living God. If you have found yourself backsliding, or drifting away from the Lord, these practical steps will help get you back on course today.

Here's How:

Continue Reading Below:

1.Examine your faith-life regularly.

Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test?
2 Corinthians 13:5 (NIV)

2. If you find yourself drifting away, turn back immediately.

See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.
Hebrews 3:12-13 (NIV)

3.  Come to God daily for forgiveness and cleansing.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9 (NIV)

Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city.
Revelation 22:14 (NIV)

4.  Continue daily seeking the Lord with your whole heart.

And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever.

I Chronicles 28:9 (NIV)

5. Stay in the Word of God; keep studying and learning daily.

Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life.
Proverbs 4:13 (NIV)

6.  Stay in fellowship often with other believers.

You can’t make it alone as a Christian. We need the strength and prayers of other believers.

And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage and warn each other, especially now that the day of his coming back again is drawing near.
Hebrews 10:25 (NLT)

7.  Stand firm in your faith. Expect difficult times in your Christian life.

All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.
Matthew 10:22 (NIV)

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
Galatians 5:1 (NIV)

8.  Persevere.

Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.
1 Timothy 4:15-17 (NIV)

9. Run the race to win.

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training ... we do it to get a crown that will last forever.
1 Corinthians 9: 24-25 (NIV)

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness...
2 Timothy 4:7-8 (NIV)

10. Remind yourself of what God has done for you in the past.

Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you stood your ground in a great contest in the face of suffering. So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised … we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.
Hebrews 10: 32, 35-39 (NIV)

Tips:

Develop a daily habit of spending time with God. Habits are hard to break.

Memorize favorite Bible verses to recall in difficult times.

Listen to Christian music to keep your mind and heart in tune with God.

Develop a Christian friendship so that you will have someone to call on when you are weak.

Get involved in a meaningful Christian Project with other Christians

What You Need:

A Bible

A Daily Relationship with God

A Christian Friendship

A Bible Teaching Church

Credit: Mary Fairchild

SOME SITUATIONS WE GET INTO

Dear VAC readers ,Situation varies, and today,I want to show you some of these situations that you get into and wonder why you found yourself there.Happy Reading.

“It is not the situation which makes the man, but the man who makes the situation.”
– Frederick W. Robertson


1.BAD SITUATIONS

Sometimes problems are good things because they can bring growth. The situations don’t have to destroy us. We just need to evaluate them, and in the process, we grow. We can’t let situations rule us. We must rule them, but we need God’s help. When you get into a bad situation and it seems impossible to get out, remember that God says, “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth” (Psalm 46:10). Also, “know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture” (Psalm 100:3). For me, that’s a huge relief.


2.GOOD SITUATIONS

God sends us into different seasons in our lives. Sometimes these are lean times, and other times they are prosperous times. The question is what do we do with what God has given us? Since we are the stewards of that which He has entrusted us, we can do much good for those who are in lean times. Even an offer of buying someone a meal can mean a lot. It might even be giving them something that will not ever be repaid because they’re not able. The fact is, “whoever is generous to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will repay him for his deed” (Prov. 19:17), “and if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is my disciple, truly I tell you, that person will certainly not lose their reward” (Matt. 10:42).


3.SOWING SITUATIONS

I’ve handed out hundreds of Bible tracts in my life, and the people who read these are people I’ll probably never see again. I can sow God’s Word, and maybe someone else will come along and water it. A little later, someone else may come along and fertilize it. But we must trust God because only He gives the increase (1 Cor. 3:6-7). Sowing the Word of God comes with a guarantee: “so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it” (Isaiah 55:11). Unleash the Word and trust God enough to leave the results up to Him.
 
I live in farming country. They always reap what they sow but much later than they sow. If the farmer sowed the seed and waited a day, a week or a month and saw nothing come up and then gave up, then he’d not make a very good farmer. Farmers know that what they sow will be exactly what they reap, but it doesn’t spring out of the ground right away. The point is what Paul wrote: “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life” (Gal. 6:7-8). What you sow is what you’ll reap, either good or bad. Sow good and good will come out of it. Sow generously and reap a great harvest. But sowing to the flesh will reap corruption, and that never ends well.

CONCLUSION
As Mr. Robertson said, it is not the situation which makes the man, but the man who makes the situation. You have control over the outcome of your situation, if not the situation itself. You can allow bad situations to cause you to grow. You can allow situations to help others. You can allow situations to sow the Word. However, you will always reap what you sow in whatever situation you find yourself.

God Bless You.

Credit: Jack Wellman

5 Ways Adversity Creates Success

Sometimes adversity is what you need to face in order to become successful.”
– Zig Ziglar

1.  ADVERSITY HUMBLES US

Paul would have never come to trust in Christ unless He first humbled him. God had to first personally encounter him and then temporarily blinded him. Only after he was humbled did Paul ask “Lord, what do You want me to do” (Acts 9:6). Is that something we ask the Lord, “Lord, what would you have me do?” God cannot use a man or woman greatly until He has first humbled them fully since God will resist every proud human and will only give His grace to those who humble themselves (James 4:6).


2.  ADVERSITY MAKES US REPENT

How many times have you read the vicious cycle of prosperity, success, idolatry, captivity and then God freeing them from captivity, only to start the cycle all over again. If God had not sent them into captivity, that adversity would have never brought about their repentance, just as Moses wrote in Deuteronomy 8:2: “… you shall remember the whole way that the LORD your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not.”

3. ADVERSITY MAKES US STRONGER

When we experience tests and trials, they can either break us or make us stronger–that’s the purpose behind adversity. Peter writes, “… you have been grieved by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Pet 1:6b-7). Adversity proves whether our faith is real or not, whether it’s genuine or just in words alone. This faith of ours is tested and refined in the fires of adversity that will “result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus ChristI don’t need a Bible verse to tell you how when we get into impossible spots in life, our only way out is for God to intervene. When we come to the end of our rope, we discover that God has been waiting there all the time. God wants us to rely on Him and not on ourselves. Adversity sometimes forces us down to the ground where the only place we can look is up.

4.ADVERSITY TEACHES US

Believe it or not, adversity teaches us that God is faithful. It is true that everything that happens to us, good or bad, will always work out for our very best (Rom. 8:28). Adversity should make us look back on our lives and remember how often God came through for us in the past to pull us out of the fires because He never forsakes us or leaves us (Heb. 13:5), even though we often forsake Him.

I can look back on my own life and remember how many times God did some pretty amazing things. When adversity comes, it teaches me to remember how many times God came through. Trust God; He is faithful.


CONCLUSION
Adversity may not feel like our friend, but it humbles us when we need it; it makes us repent if need be; it makes us stronger and strengthens our faith in God; it forces us to rely on God, for there is no other way out; and it teaches us to remember just how faithful God has been and will be yet again. Indeed, it is true–sometimes adversity is what you needs us when we need it; it makes us repent if need be; it makes us stronger and strengthens our faith in God; it forces us to rely on God, for there is no other way out; and it teaches us to remember just how faithful God has been and will be yet again. Indeed, it is true–sometimes adversity is what you need to face in order to be successful.

God Bless.

Credit: Jack Wellman

3 GREAT WORKS OF DISSAPOINTMENTS

Our best successes often come after “our greatest disappointments.”-Henry Ward Beecher

Let’s take a look from a general perspective, disappointment is not something we love or would ever want to encounter, but it comes all of the time. Some of us are so lucky to waive it away and to keep moving, while some get so down to even think of getting on their toes. Let’s take a look at what disappointment can do to help us. God has a plan for your disappointments. Happy Reading.

1. DISAPPOINTMENTS PRECEDE SUCCESS

When great disappointments come–and they come to all of us–we can either ask “why Lord?” what now Lord?”, or “what do you want me to do now Lord?” Disappointments can either discourage us or make us look at what we must do now or what direction God is pointing us to. When Jesus was dying on the cross, He “called out with a loud voice, ‘Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?’ which means ‘My God, my God, why have you abandoned me” (Mark 15:34)? What a huge disappointment Jesus’ ministry appeared to be. They thought He had failed by being crucified. However, what appeared to be the greatest disappointment in their lives ended up as the greatest triumph in all of human history. Now we could be saved from the wrath of God because of Jesus’ death on the cross. Often, disappointments sometimes give birth to great successes, even if we don’t see it at the time.

2.   DISAPPOINTMENTS GLORIFY GOD

Martha was disappointed when Jesus didn’t arrive soon enough, for her at least, to keep her brother Lazarus from dying. In John 11:21, “Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” Then Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again” (John 11:23). Martha misunderstood Jesus and said, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day” (John 11:24), but Jesus was talking about raising Lazarus from the dead right then and there. Before Jesus came, He had told His disciples that this (Lazarus’ death) is “for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it” (John 11:4). The point is that Lazarus’ death appeared to be a huge disappointment to Martha and many others, but it turned out to be a Jesus-glorifying act, which turned their disappointment into a huge success for Martha, Mary, Lazarus, and also Jesus, as He was glorified in this.

3.  DISAPPOINTMENTS THROUGH AFFLICTIONS

Did you know that the more crushed you are through afflictions, the closer God is to you? That’s what Psalm 34:18 says: “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Don’t you want to be nearer to God? Of course you do. Paul knew a lot about afflictions and wrote, “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison” (2 Cor. 4: 16-17). The apostles had been arrested and flogged for presenting the Gospel of Christ as Jesus had commanded them. They could have sent out urgent prayer requests to the church for their safety, for the counsel to deliver them, and for them to escape the punishment. But listen to what the apostles said after the flogging: “They left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name” (Acts 5:41). How would we have reacted? Their arrest and flogging were unwarranted, and they were flogged for obeying Jesus’ command (Matt. 28:19-20). To those outside the faith, they must have thought, “Wow, what a disappointment,” but not the apostles. They considered this an honor to suffer for Christ’s name.

CONCLUSION

 God has a history of turning our disappointments into triumphs. We could never see the successes without the disappointments. We could not achieve victory without going through occasional defeats. Mr. Beecher is completely right: Our best successes often come after our greatest disappointments. So make disappointments His appointments.

Credit: Jack Wellman

Negativity!

Hello,

Yesterday I shared a little part of Negativity and how to not get influenced too.

Please see more strategies you can use to take control of negativity.Happy Reading!

Focus on solutions, not problems.

Where and how you focus your attention determines your emotional state.  When you zero in on the problems you’re facing, you create and prolong negative emotions and stress.  When you shift your focus toward actions that can improve your circumstances, you create a sense of self-efficacy that yields positive emotions and reduces stress.

The same exact principle applies when dealing with negative people – fixating on how stressful and difficult they are only intensifies your suffering by giving them power over you.  Stop thinking about how troubling this person is, and focus instead on how you’re going to go about handling their behavior in a positive way.  This makes you more effective by putting you in the driver’s seat, and it will greatly reduce the amount of stress you experience when you’re interacting with them. 

Maintain a level of emotional detachment from other people’s opinions of you.

Maintaining a level of emotional detachment is vital for keeping stress at a distance.  Not allowing negative people (or anyone for that matter) to put the weight of their inadequacies on your back is vital to your emotional health and happiness.  It all comes down to how you value yourself, and thus believe in yourself.

People who manage their lives effectively are generally those who work internally – i.e. those who know that success and well-being comes from within (internal locus of control).  Negative people generally work externally – i.e. blame others or outside events for everything that does or doesn’t happen (external locus of control).

When your sense of satisfaction and self-worth are derived from the opinions of others, you are no longer in control of your own happiness.  Know this.  When emotionally strong people feel good about something they’ve done, they don’t let anyone’s shallow opinions or spiteful remarks take that away from them.

Truth be told, you’re never as good as everyone says when you win, and you’re never as terrible as they tell you when you lose.  The important thing is what you’ve learned, and what you’re doing with it.

Let go of the desire to change other people’s negative tendencies.

Some people you can help by setting a good example, others you can’t.  Recognize the difference and it’ll help maintain your equilibrium.  Don’t be taken in by the energy vampires, manipulators and emotional blackmailers by desperately trying to control what is out of your control – other people’s behavior.

With that said, if there’s a specific behavior someone you love has that you’re hoping changes over time, it probably won’t.  If you really need them to change for some substantial reason, be honest and put all the cards on the table so this person knows how you feel and why.

For the most part though, you can’t change people and you shouldn’t try.  Either you accept who they are or you choose to live without them.  It might sound a bit harsh, but it’s not.  When you try to change people, they often resist and remain the same… but when you don’t try to change them – when you support them and allow them the autonomy to be as they are – they gradually change in the most miraculous way.  Because what really changes is the way you see them.

Dedicate ample time every day to self-care.

You do not have to neglect yourself just because others do.  Seriously, if you’re forced to live or work with a negative person, then make sure you get enough alone time to rest and recuperate.  Having to play the role of a ‘focused, rational adult’ in the face of persistent negativity can be exhausting, and if you’re not careful, the negativity can consume you.

Negative people can keep you up at night as you constantly question yourself:

• “Am I doing the right thing?”
• “Am I really so terrible that they speak to me like that?”
• “I can’t BELIEVE he did that!”
• “I’m so hurt!”

Thoughts like these can keep you agonizing for weeks, months, or even years.  Sadly, sometimes this is the goal of a negative person – to drive you crazy and bring you down to their level of thinking, so they’re not wallowing alone.  And since you can’t control what they do, it’s important to take care of yourself so you can remain centered, feeling healthy and ready to live positively in the face of their negativity when you must. 

Afterthoughts

Although it can be hard to admit, sometimes the negative person is YOU.  Sometimes it’s your own negativity that hurts you more than anything else.

If your inner critic is trying it’s hardest to get the best of you, try giving up all the thoughts and contemplation that make you feel bad, or even just some of them, for the rest of the day.  See how doing that changes your life.  You don’t need these negative thoughts.  All they have ever given you is a false self that suffers for no reason.

Your turn…

Do you have a personal story you’d like to share about dealing with negative people?  What helps you stay positive when negativity surrounds you? 

Credit:Marc Chenoff

3 Ways to Protect Yourself from Other People’s Negative Energy

"It’s tough to live a positive life around negative people."

Dealing with negativity can be quite a downer.  I once had a coworker whose negative energy would wash over me on a daily basis.  In our conversations, she would complain endlessly about everything – work tasks, family, friends, health, and anything else she could think of.  She was also extremely cynical about others, often doubting their intentions and judging them harshly.  Talking to her wasn’t a pleasant experience, to say the least.

The first time we had a meeting I felt completely drained.  Even though we spoke for just 30 minutes, I barely had any energy left after our conversation.  It felt as if someone had literally sucked the life out of me, and it took a couple hours for the effects to wear off.  The same thing happened the next few times we spoke too.  I quickly realized I needed to work out an action plan to deal with this kind of negative energy.  After all, she was not going to be the only negative person I was going to encounter in my life.

I gradually developed several key strategies for dealing with negative people effectively. 

1.  Set and enforce limits.

Negative people who wallow in their problems and fail to focus on solutions are hard to deal with.  They want people to join their 24/7 pity party so they can feel better about themselves.  And you may feel pressured to listen to their complaints simply because you don’t want to be seen as callous or rude, but there’s a fine line between lending a compassionate ear and getting sucked into their negative emotional drama.

You can avoid this drama by setting limits and distancing yourself when necessary.  Think of it this way: if a negative person were chain-smoking cigarettes, would you sit beside them all day inhaling their second-hand smoke?  No, you wouldn’t – you’d distance yourself.  So go ahead and give yourself some breathing room when you must.

If distancing yourself is impossible in the near-term, another great way to set limits is to ask a negative person how they intend to fix the problem they’re complaining about.  Oftentimes they will either quiet down or redirect the conversation in a more harmonious direction, at least temporarily.

2.  Respond mindfully – don’t just react.

A reaction is a hot, thoughtless, in-the-moment eruption of emotion that’s usually driven by your ego (as human beings, we’re more likely to react when we’re disconnected from our logical mind).  It might last just a split second before your intuition kicks in and offers some perspective, or it might take over to the point that you act on it.  When you feel angry or flustered after dealing with a negative person, that’s a sign you’ve reacted rather than responded mindfully.  Responding mindfully will leave you feeling like you handled things with integrity and poise.

Bottom line: When you encounter someone with a negative attitude, don’t respond by throwing insults back at them.  Keep your dignity and don’t lower yourself to their level.  True strength is being bold enough to walk away from the nonsense with your head held high.

3.  Introduce lighter topics of discussion.

Some people’s negative attitudes are triggered by specific, seemingly harmless topics.  For example, one of my friends turns into a very toxic self-victimizer whenever we talk about her job.  No matter what I say, she’ll complain about everything related to her job, and when I try to interject with positive comments, she just rolls right over them with more negativity.  Obviously this becomes quite a conversation dampener.

If you find yourself in a similar conversational situation, and the person you’re talking with is stuck on a topic that’s bringing you down, realize their negative emotions may be too deeply rooted to address in a one-off conversation.  Your best bet is to introduce a new topic to lighten the mood.  Simple things like funny memories, mutual friendships, personal success stories, and other kinds of happy news make for light conversation.  Keep it to areas the person feels positive about.

Reflect on these  three,let it guide you to know who to associate with.Other key strategies to come tomorrow.

SOW GENEROUSLY...REAP GENEROUSLY...

“Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.” (2 Corinthians 9:6-8 NIV) When it comes to your giving, there are two principles you need to remember, and they’re based on 2 Corinthians 9:6-8: “Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work” (NIV). This is the principle of harvest: What you sow, you’re going to reap — for good or for bad. Whatever you plant, that’s what you’re going to get back. That’s true about money, but it’s true about everything else. If you sow criticism, people are going to criticize you. If you sow gossip, guess what? Others are going to gossip about you. If you plant resentment, people are going to resent you. Whatever you need more of, give it away, and you’ll get more back. Do you need more energy? Then you have to exercise. Do you need more affirmation in your life? Give it away. Start affirming other people. If you take a kernel of corn and plant it in the ground, do you get one kernel back? No! I’ve actually planted corn in my yard before. When you plant one kernel in the ground, you don’t get one kernel back. You get a stalk with a bunch of ears and thousands of kernels. When you plant an avocado pit, it grows a tree. Do you get one avocado back? No. You get hundreds back. You always get back more than you put in. The second principle is that there’s always a delay between planting and harvest. When you plant a seed in the ground, do you get an ear of corn the next day? Of course not. You plant in one season, and you harvest in another. The same is true in giving. You give to other people. You give to God. You give your life away, but do you reap the results the next day? No. There is a season of waiting before God gives you the harvest. Why? He’s testing your faith to see if you’ll trust him while there’s a delay between planting and harvesting. While you’re waiting and planting, you can trust that God will provide grace so that “having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.”

Can You Miss God’s Will for Your Life?

HELLO There, I stumbled on this very interesting devotional and decided to share. Your comments will be appreciated.Read below:

Decision making can be a paralyzing experience. Say, for example, that you have been offered a new job in a different state? Should you take it? Well, it depends. What are the schools like in the area? What is the traffic like? Are there any nuclear power plants nearby? Is the increased salary worth the emotional cost of moving your family? Will you be forced to root for the Dallas Cowboys? All these different factors can make it difficult to decide. Now, throw the whole issue of God’s will into the mix? Is it really God’s will for you to move? It seems like it’s God’s will, but maybe it’s not. What if you make a terrible mistake and somehow miss the will of God? Are you going to end up in some purgatorial situation because you accidentally missed God’s will? The fear of missing God’s will is enough to paralyze any Christian. But here’s the question: can a Christian miss the will of God for their life? Could you somehow go your entire life being outside of God’s good plan for you? It seems that the Bible teaches that, yes, you can miss God’s will. It also teaches that no, you can’t miss God’s will. The way to miss God’s will is really simple: ignore the Bible. In the Bible, God has told us exactly what we should do when it comes to making decisions.  First, we should determine if our decision goes against anything clearly spelled out in the Bible. The Bible is clear that fellowship with other believers is necessary for our Christian growth. If taking a job will cut you off from fellowship with others, it’s not God’s will for you to take the job. Second, we should ask God to give us wisdom. James 1:5–6 says: If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting… Getting wisdom from God isn’t a mystical, super-spiritual experience. It means asking God to help us think clearly and biblically about the decision in front of us. When we ask for wisdom we should believe God is going to give it to us. God isn’t trying to hide his good will from us. He wants to help us understand the right way to walk. Third, we should ask the opinion of others. Proverbs 15:22 says,  “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.” This is so gloriously simple. Finding God’s will for your life is as simple as asking the opinion of other, godly Christians. Lay the situation out before them, and then let God speak to you through their counsel. If we heed the counsel of scripture, we won’t miss God’s will. God isn’t hiding his will, or trying to trick us into making a bad decision. If we evaluate our decision by scripture, ask for wisdom, and then ask the opinion of others, we are doing what God requires of us. He promises to guide us through that process. We don’t need to seek a subjective, mystical, spiritual feeling when it comes to decision making. Don’t get me wrong; sometimes God gives us peace about a decision, and that’s a blessing. But that’s not always the case. Sometimes we might not feel one way or another about a decision. In general, feelings are a very bad barometer of the truth. A feeling of peace can come from God, but it can also come from a lot of other things, like a glass of wine or a good nap. Plus, what exactly constitutes the “right” feeling when it comes to a decision? Is it peace? Or maybe joy? Or a sense of rightness? The Bible doesn’t tell us what we’re supposed to feel about our decisions. Instead, it tells us how to make biblical, God-honoring decisions. So, if you have a big decision to make, don’t freak out. Instead, go to the Word, ask for wisdom, and get others involved. Credit: Stephen Altrogge